Brontekst bekijken van Boek der Kwoten

Het '''Boek der Kwoten''' is een verzamelwerk van kwoten zowel in het wild gespot als gedomesticeerd en/of welbekend,

== Kwoten in het wild waargenomen ==
Das: ''Iemand moet jou eens goed pakken!''

Aapje: ''Ik wordt al vaak genoeg gepakt.''

~ 5 december 20:13


Mammoet: ''Dit is allemaal foreplay voor het [[Rikken]].''

~ 13 februari 21:57


Mammoet: ''Een gnoe is een vogel.''

~ 18 februari 21:24
[[Bestand:Illustratie.png|miniatuur|Illustratieve context.]]


Mammoet: ''Ik zou nooit een laptop kopen met een touchpad.''

~ 4 maart 12:47

Das: ''Daar was ik ingeglepen.''

~ 7 maart 14:37


Mammoet: ''Dat is koop screep.''

''~'' 17 april 13:26


Mammoet: ''Ik was ooit zindelijk.''


Aapje: ''Ik ben een inductiekip.''

Mammoet: ''Is de basisstap dan de kip of het ei?''



Pauw: ''Welke kleur is paars?''


== Gedomesticeerde kwoten ==


''"You can't use the fire exit, because you're not made of fire."''

''"Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage."''

''"If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried."''

''"The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands."''

''"To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time."''

''"Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math."''

''"Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired."''

''"The cool thing about these guys is that... is that they have really, really long trunks, and that's... that's cool."''

''"Romance is like gum: Once it's lost its flavor, you just cram another one in."''

''"Studies show owning a ladder is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, just in case some fool tries to sneak in here with a ladder."''